Heroine Envy

I love movies. They’re all about escapism and, let’s face it, we all want to escape every now and then. (If you don’t want to escape – ie you love everything about your sweet little life just the way it is – then you’re an anomaly. You shouldn’t be reading this. And BTW, don’t even THINK about e-mailing me how sweet your life is, because I might be tempted to send hate mail.)

The best thing about seeing a movie is that I get to escape “me” for a while. No kids, no mortgage, no messy chaotic frenetic life, no panda eyes because I fell into bed without
removing my mascara, no clothes that are four seasons out of date . . . When I immerse myself in a movie I’m able to be, for a fleeting couple of hours, a hot sexy mama with street savvy and an interesting life.

Oh, come on. You know it’s true. Every movie you’ve loved featured a heroine who was young and slim and cool and had a don’t-mess-with-me attitude (or grew one), right? And even if they were made-up to look ugly or fat or frumpy or old or whatever, they weren’t even close to any of those things because Hollywood doesn’t really do ugly/fat/frumpy/old. It wouldn’t sell. It’s not our dream.

And the heroes? (Speaking of dreams . . . ) Mmm . . .

Where was I? Oh. Right. Bottom line: Hollywood produces what we (I use “we” in a broad sense) want to see. And we want to see hot-sexy-mama heroines with kick-arse attitude, not grumpy-frumpy-ugly old tarts with lemon-sucking skills. We want to see heart-stoppingly gorgeous men with you’ll-only-cross-me-once determination, not wimpy weedy guys with inferiority complexes. Movies = escapism, remember?

Movie heroines always get their guy, and he’s always hot. Movie heroines always save the day, or at least help save the day, and they don’t get blown up in the attempt. They always have great shoes and even better one-liners. And they always end the movie looking like . . . well, heroines.

But movies aren’t real. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that and get caught up in the why-can’t-I-be-more-like-her sulks – when what we should really be doing is celebrating. Because we’re the real heroines and heroes. We’re living it, doing it, solving it, feeling it. Every day. Bad hair, cranky mood, mismatched socks and all.

So if your made-for-the-big-screen life is looking a little less than perfect today – don’t worry. You’re in good company. And we my not be on a Jolie-type wage, but we’re all doing star performances. (Pass the popcorn, someone!)