Maggie’s Resolutions For 2010

Okay, I know I’ve said it before, but this year I really need to tone up and trim down. Which means a) exercise and b) self-restraint. Oh God. Suddenly 2010’s looking like one long, glaucomic tunnel of doom. I mean, hello. Exercise? When do I ever have time for that? And self-restraint? Can I even say it?

Well, 2010’s going to be the year when I learn, right? I can get up at six a.m. and lurch through a workout. Anything will do. Jogging, swimming, circuit training – whatever. Just sign me up. And if my kids have woken me multiple times during the night with a typical repertoire
of nightmares/questions-that-just-couldn’t-wait/missing-you’s/hunger, I can go out at eight p.m. instead for said workout. And if I’m so dog-tired I can’t manage that, either, I will stagger to bed and imagine said workout. Why? Well, apparently thinking is halfway to doing, so although it’ll take longer for my body to see the benefits, it’s a great fallback option.

Yeah, good plan, Maggie.

Besides, I’ll be sure to make up the lost workout later in the week (probably) (maybe) (okay, that’s a big fat lie and we both know it).

As for the self-restraint bit, well… that’s more of a problem. Short of sewing my lips together I can’t think of an easy solution. Me and food go together like fish and chips, wine and cheese, cars and big bills.

Ooh! Cunning plan! I’ll use the old reverse psychology trick. Yeah. Perfect! So . . . my resolutions for 2010 will be to gain weight and get flabby. That should do it. I’ve never yet achieved a New Year’s resolution.

Watch out, body beautiful, here I come!